Bethany's Double-Baked Chicken Pizza

I know I'm not exactly famous for my recipes. But this is a new delicacy from last night that I just had to share:

Purchase a Safeway Select Verdi Self-Rising Crust Chicken Parmesano Pizza from the freezer case.

Bring it home, open the box, glance briefly at the baking instructions, heat your oven, remove the plastic and toss the pizza onto a baking sheet. Throw the box aside as you think smugly to yourself, "Who really needs instructions to bake a frozen pizza, anyway?"

Pop the pizza in the oven and check it after 20 min., finding a nicely-browned pie.

Slide the pizza onto a cutting board, noticing that you neglected to notice the cardboard circle underneath when removing the pizza from its box.

Lift up pizza, dreading to find out what happens when you cook pizza on cardboard. Breathe a sigh of relief when you find the only apparent side effect is that the bottom of the pizza hasn't browned. Contemplate returning the pizza to the oven for a few more minutes (without the cardboard), but chuck the idea and cut the pizza. Afterall, it's almost midnight and you're starved. Eat (and attempt to enjoy) 2 slices of half-cooked pizza. Decide to return the leftovers to the oven thinking it would taste better if it were cooked on the bottom.

Return pizza to baking sheet, this time placing it face down. (That should help the bottom brown faster, right?) Remove from oven 10 minutes later, finding a slightly-browned crust and slightly-burnt toppings. Pop yourself some Bethany-style popcorn to make yourself feel less like a domestic failure. Put leftovers in fridge, because you can't stand throwing "good" food away - even though you know it will never get eaten.